If You're Happy and You Know It

I have observed caregivers for 8 years now. Before then I was a caregiver and I have decided that caregivers are just a little bit psychotic. Not is a 'climb-a-tower-and-take-people-out' way, but in a rather moody way. We are psychotically happy in front of our clients and then we separate to the lunch room or staff room and turn into such crazily unhappy people where nothing goes right.

In the words of the great Seinfield -- What is up with that?

And it's not at work either. We take it home and act the same way at home. We walk around at church or in front of our in-laws with what I call that all teeth smile (I often think "I really need to go to the denist" when I have that smile on) and as soon as we are home, we instantly start complaining (sometimes cry).

You know, I think there may be a bit of inbetween, but our brains get in the way. Nursing as a profession is so racked with negativity that I think we put on an act in front of the clients and then think that "normal" is being grumpy and rude to those we are comfortable with.

I did this just today. My 3 year old is a bit of a handful. He's cute and kind, but has no focus or listening skills. I picked him up from daycare today and was told that he won't take a nap and he' won't listen. I'm still realing from him being kicked out of Sunday School and I am remembering the 2 babysitters that told me he is too hard to handle. I show up to his karate class very near tears. At the end of the class, the Sensei (he's very kind outside of class, but he's kinda scary in class, so I never know how to react to him) comes and sits on a chair right in front of me. I brace myself for the "your child is terrible and we just can't handle him" talk when he smiles and tells me "he did great." I went on to tell him something to the effect of 'I'm glad you can deal with him because noone else can'.

I got out to the car and realized "what a terrible place I went to." I don't understand why we as a Nursing Profession have to be all or nothing. Why do we have to be psychotically happy or bitterly angry?

I think it comes down to CONFIDENCE. I have incredible insecurities about the kind of Nurse I am and that bleeds over to my overall jobs as a caregiver (wife, mother, daughter, etc).

So this week, I am going to read Tim Sanders' book, Today We Are Rich. It's a book about gaining self-confidence through gratitude and self-confidence and see if that helps. Feel free to read it too and come back and comment on what your thoughts are.