My husband and I went to The Quitter Conference last weekend. I've been playing with my business of caregiver training for awhile. I never really considered it a dream to run a training business full time. I just know that I come alive, shed my shy label and truly feel invigorated when I teach a class of students. Day to day, I have near panic attacks if it is time to meet new people and have a terrible time in crowds (Christmas shopping in our house is always done before Thanksgiving because I can't handle Christmas crowds). But when I get up in front of a class of 10-15 students or sometimes more, I shed all that anxiety and become the person I love being. I can't explain it, but teaching invigorates me in a way I just can't describe.
I never really thought I could make a full time job of this business. In fact I opened it as a fundraiser when I was running for Team in Training and kept it going because so many students said they preferred to come to my classes than go to the big cooperation alternative.
We went to Nashville because I really wanted to meet my favorite author, Jon Acuff. I flew across the country and then refused to go up and meet him until my hubby threatened to go get him and bring him to me. I didn't want to look like I was back in Jr. High and asking my girlfriend to go talk to the other person, so I went up and introduced myself. He's awesome, hilarious and so easy to talk with. BUT that was not what ended up being the highlight of the trip like I thought it would be.
The Quitter Conference was really an amazing experience. I've read Quitter the book, but this was different! This was a practical guide to following my dream. And I do have a dream. Actually I have 2.
1) To grow my small training business from Essential Training giving state required classes to Essential Wellness with a focus on overall wellness for the health care worker.
I started to realize that owning and growing this business was indeed a passion of mine, but was held back by tremendous fear. Fear of failure (poor Pastor Chuck, my counselor, must be rolling his eyes, because we've been through this one so many times). Fear of Starting. Fear of Accounting (I have a learning disorder similar to dyslexia, but with numbers called dyscalculia). Fear of success (I have actually told other small business owners "I need to slow down, because I don't want to grow"). This was the greatest lesson. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to worry about my shortcomings. I'm not going to do anything unless I do something! So in this last 5 days since we've been home, I've been getting up earlier, doing marketing and I put together my 1st Profit & Loss worksheet since I opened the business in six years!
2) To place in a distance race for my age.
I used to be a phenomenal runner. I often placed in distance races like marathons & half marathons. It was easy and almost boring. Then I had kids and what followed were so many life changes and a pretty brutal depression. I stopped running, gained weight and lost muscle tone. I've tried to run a few marathons in the last two years, but I am so slow. Fear caught up to me again. I quit because I wanted to be the runner I used to be. But I'm not that runner any longer. I didn't really want to try because I knew I couldn't be 1st or 2nd or 3rd. It was easier to quit than to fail.
But The Quitter Conference pointed out the epic failure in this plan as well. How could I ever be good again unless I start again? I am now able to "recover" this dream (as Mr. Acuff would say) and start working on it anew. I'm not going to be 1st at the Seattle Marathon this November. That's ridiculous. I have 80 pounds to lose. I have muscle tone to regain. I need to rebuild my endurance and lung capacity. BUT... I've been for a run with this new attitude and I think the muscle memory from my younger running days is still there. I think this is a talent I can get back. If I put in the hard work, I think it is completely possible to place in a race for my age. It may be a 3-5 year plan, but I have a goal in mind now and I think it's possible.
If you haven't heard of Jon Acuff, you really should check out his blog www.jonacuff.com and read his newest book QUITTER.
What's your dream? GO be a QUITTER!
